The Flyswatter Takes A Vacation

By Michele Spector

In a time after Elvis was king,  but before the internet, reigned the infamous yellow fly swatter. It originated from the species rearendus stingmata from the pre-DYFAS era.

It was a sad and lonely creature, and longed to be used for the reason it was created: to vanquish flies. But alas, it was not to be. It was utilized instead, as an implement of character building, upon the little butts as they exercised colorful first amendment rights whenever they pleased.

The swatter’s overuse was the topic of many an angry discussion among them. In a democratic process that resulted in a 3-0 vote, the little B’s brainstormed ideas to send it away forever.

Their uncle was on another unexpected visit at their house, and had already overextended his stay. He was leaving that day. It was a perfect time to execute their plan.

Anonymously, or so they thought, one of the little B’s broke the swatter in half. Then, while the uncle was preoccupied in the backyard, it was carefully hidden between shirts on the bottom of his suitcase. It got a personal escort to the heart of Brooklyn.

Rumor has it it has a found a better permanent home. It now enjoys the company of other broken bits and pieces on a pile under the open sky in seagull land.